Menopause, painful sex and going coconuts

Menopause, painful sex and going coconuts

I recently asked a large group of midlife women for advice on one of the more personal symptoms of my perimenopause – painful sex. One recommendation came back very loud and clear, coconut oil. I did a bit of research and it seems that in its raw organic natural form – raw virgin coconut oil is indeed the lube of choice for midlifers.

It’s solid but melts quickly in warm hands, has a soft sweet coconut smell and is completely safe to use (though not with condoms*). It also has natural antibacterial and anti-fungal properties so it helps to prevent yeast infections. I bought myself a jar from the health food shop and put it to the test…

Use it or lose it

It seems I am not on my own in feeling sore ‘down there’ – painful sex is a classic symptom of  ‘the Change’. It’s also bit of a vicious circle – it hurts so you have less frequent sex – then its hurts even more. The technical term is Vaginal Atrophy (doesn’t that make you feel great). The science is simple, a change in hormone levels reduces lubrication and decreased amounts of oestrogen leads to a thinner, less elastic and more fragile vaginal lining.

When I first noticed the symptoms girlfriends suggested an over-the-counter medication called vagisil and this helped but not enough to make it enjoyable. At this point I should mention that sex became painful for BOTH of us, not just me. It made me realise just how clever mother nature is. She has created a wonderful process whereby mutual attraction leads to relaxed, copious lubrication, procreation and the endless cycle of the universe. Copulating couples in their fifties were not part of her plan – we are past-use, barren and (some of us at least) ‘dried-up’.

But not any more. Without going into too much detail let’s just say coconut oil works for me and we’ve got a part of our relationship back that I had missed more than I was prepared to admit. I’m finding writing about this embarrassing but I am smiling and that says it all.

Skin saver

A by-product of the research I did on coconut oil revealed how good it is for your skin generally. As well using it during romantic encounters I’ve been using it on my legs to get them summer-ready. It started with my legs but now I’m using it everywhere. Unlike other ‘oils’ it doesn’t stay on my skin too long and leaves it feeling silky smooth. Dry itchy skin (pruritus) is yet another delightful symptom of perimenopause – a change in hormones slowing down the body’s oil and collagen production and ability to retain moisture. So far, so good.

20 Suggested Benefits of Coconut Oil

The internet is full of all sorts of claims and counter-claims about the wonders of using coconut oil as part of a healthy diet. Yahoo News (Eat This Not That) put together this list of 20 benefits of coconut oil:

  1. It helps to burn calories
  2. It kills bacteria
  3. It can be used in the bedroom
  4. It can help build and maintain muscle
  5. It curbs appetite
  6. It can help prevent Alzheimer’s disease
  7. It helps with memory
  8. It can protect organ function
  9. It promotes a healthy heart
  10. It supports the pancreas
  11. It is great for skin and hair
  12. It improves digestion
  13. It is good for oral health
  14. It may help to balance hormones
  15. It helps repair chapped lips
  16. It can prevent and treat cancer
  17. It can reduce the risk of seizures
  18. It can prevent insulin resistance
  19. It can help treat inflammation and arthritis
  20. It can help with osteoporosis

Frankly the jury is out on how much some of these claims can be proven. I can personally only attest to numbers 3 and 11. If you have experience of any of the above do let us know. Meanwhile you might be interested in reading Menopause: 5 online resources to help you survive.

Avril x

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Menopause, painful sex and going cocounts

* The properties of coconut oil may break down the integrity of latex so it is not recommended for use with condoms.

Coconut Palm image by Tomas Sobek, Flickr